....and two months later ......

Wow.  Two months!  That's how long it's been since the last time I blogged on here.   I knew it and felt like I should get on here a few times, but for various reasons or excuses, I didn't.  The excuses range from all of the holiday activities to trips taken, a bout of the flu at Thanksgiving to the nice weather outside had me working my fingers to the bone and being dog tired at the end of the day.  I guess as far as reasons. there were only two:  I chose not to and in some instances I just didn't know what to say........

In all honesty, it was a tough few months.  Shortly after the last blog entry it was Thanksgiving and I was busily trying to get the house ready for the 25 or so family members that would be coming to the house for the big meal.  Everyone was cooking so we didn't have to do the whole thing, but we smoked the turkey and did a few other dishes.  There were tables to rent, centerpieces to get ready, dishes to borrow......  In the theme of my disheveled life, I used that as the decorating scheme for Thanksgiving and borrowed dishes from a friend who, as she says, "has a bit of a problem" with buying dishes.  Works for me!   I borrowed 4 settings of 6 different patterns and on each table used some of each.  We mixed and matched silverware and even pulled out everything from wine glasses to beer mugs to martini glasses for our drink ware!  I made the centerpieces from cool, old liquor bottles I had hung on to and inside of them stuck cattails from the pond, pieces of curly willow branches from my tree and cut a little green from a bush out back to give it some color.   I will post a picture, I promise, just not tonight.  I loved it.   We even managed to get a group family photo on the fence out front before we ate at 5 - which I will post too.

Then it was time to eat and I was feeling worse by the minute.  I made my attempts at sitting there and picking at the food but realized I had to give up the fight so went into my bedroom, which is where I stayed for the next 16+ hours.  Took me about a week to get back to normal.  Stupid flu bug!   And Thanksgiving is my favorite meal of the year so I was really ticked off!!!

But perhaps one of the biggest reasons I didn't blogged because I didn't know how to explain it was what came right after Thanksgiving.   I will preface it by telling you that a friend of mine posted a quote on facebook about 10 days ago that really hit home with me.   The quote said:  "Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak; sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go."   I really needed to hear that because I felt like I had given up on something and was having a hard time forgiving myself for it.

That something was my dog, George.  He entered our lives at a very tumultuous time and I am not sure it was ever really fair to him or to us.   Life was chaos about then, getting ready to put our house in Utah on the market, buying a house in Kansas, moving halfway across the country to a new home and life, struggling through the early days with the money pit and traveling every weekend in the Fall.   Life with George had gotten to be a challenge.  He obviously had some anxiety issues and was not dealing well with us traveling so much.  He had become a source of friction between Brad and I as he was "my dog" and therefore, when he got in trouble I felt like I did too.  Having 3 big dogs had proven to be more than I could handle and it seemed like every aspect of my life was suffering a little, from my sleep to my outlook and even my marriage on certain days!   I felt like George needed more than I could provide for him and we both deserved better.   As part of the agreement with the rescue group, I had to agree that if I ever could not keep him I would return him to them.   So I did.   I felt like a loser and a quitter and the worse dog owner to ever walk the planet.   Once the decision was made, George and I drove to Des Moines, IA for his return - him sleeping obliviously in the seat beside me and me crying most of the six hour drive.  After a half hour or so there, I turned right around and drove home.  13 hours after it started, I pulled back into my driveway.   He is back with my nephew and his family for now, and I think he is happy.  They are around more and they have two kids at home.  As another friend so aptly put it .... "George needs a boy!".  So true!  When I left he was chasing after their son!

I know that it was the right thing to do for us.  Difficult, but right.   My other two dogs actually seem happier now.   Life is calmer now. Without having to worry about him constantly, I have been able to get a lot more done.  Brad and I are good.    I still feel like I failed him, but when I read my friend's quote it really helped me - maybe it really was that I was strong enough to let go.   I had to ........

There have been a few more trips since I last wrote.  We went to New Orleans with one of Brad's sisters and her husband, as well as his brother and his wife.  Lots of Hurricanes helped the hurt and we got to maybe even see a few ghosts on our ghost tour.  At least Marcie sure thinks we did!!!

There was another trip to Indianapolis - this time for Jeff's college Graduation!    He graduated on December 18th!  So very proud of him and we had a wonderful weekend with his girlfriend Michelle and even got to meet her parents who came down from Madison, Wisconsin for the event.   So both of my boys are now off the family payroll and earning their own paychecks!  It feels great.   Jeff actually got a full time job with  benefits in Indianapolis that started on January 1.  He had done an internship with them for school previously, worked for them over the summer and even part time during football season.  So obviously they knew what they were getting and were glad to hire him full time!   He was able to come home for a week at Christmas - the final time he will get that luxury I guess!.    I am actually headed back to Indiana next weekend for his final football banquet too.  Then no more trips for a while for me - thank gosh!

And then of course there is the house!  The whole intent of this blog!  It's still here, still falling apart little by little, but Brad and I are getting a lot better about laughing about it and riding the waves when they hit.   In the last two months....... let's see ...... we have had to do a complete exterior baiting of the house for termite control due to the discovery of what (we hope) is old damage, found a live mouse in the dog food - followed by a dead one a few days later in one of the traps we set.  I went around the house with a can of spray foam and sealed up every obvious gaping hole that I could find in both siding and the stone wall in hopes of keeping out both cold and crittters for now!

And of course my favorite, is the night at 10 p.m., as we are getting ready for bed, that Brad says to me "Why is it so wet around the toilet?"!!!  Ugh!   Please tell me I don't have to do plumbing at 10 p.m. on a Friday night!!!!   Thankfully it wasn't an active leak but it did turn out that the shower in the master bedroom has a cracked shower pan and is no longer usable, so Brad and I are making good use of our robes and traipsing across to the other side of the house right now to shower in the guest bathroom!   The bright spot in all of this is that since he's already sick of doing that, Brad said we can go ahead and remodel the master bedroom and bathroom this spring!   Woo hoo!   FINALLY I might be able to do something FUN - though I am sure there will be a few disasters along the way!   Oh yeah - and when I pulled up the carpet there was another door cut into the sub floor for access that drops down into a crawl space!!   Right in the middle of the bathroom!!   What the ......?

We converted the fireplaces to gas burning instead of wood burning, so now we can have nice clean, efficient fires on cold nights.  Two are traditional and one we did in a different look with ceramic "rocks" that look like real rocks and fire safe glass!  It's awesome and really fun - photo of that to follow too!   I finally closed the gap left in the kitchen counter when the new cook top didn't cover the whole opening and decided to get creative with it so made a sunflower mosaic!   And then it's been so nice outside lately with the crazy warm weather that I have finally had a chance to attack the yard since I didn't get the opportunity this Fall.  Cleaning out the back flower beds which have been totally neglected and had a few years worth of old growth and leaves in it.  I'm at 35 bags and counting!!  Trimmed a huge old cedar bush at the entrance to the driveway that had a ton of old dead wood on the inside of it and made two trips to the landfill with the bed of my truck piled higher than the cab!  Everything about this house is big - even the debris!!!

When the weather warms up for keeps I am also going to paint the exterior of the house, so right now I have paint splotches everywhere!   I am sure the neighbors love the patchwork look that they will have to deal with for a few months, but I think they will be happy with the end result so hopefully they will be patient.  If you live in the Wichita area and want to help me vote on which color to us, swing by and look at them!

That's all I can think of for now, but that's enough.  The last few weeks have actually been really good weeks and I am beginning to feel like I am finally getting my legs back under me.   I found a new therapist here (in the spirit of full disclosure, I will share that too) whom I really like.  We are still in the early, "getting to know you" stage but I think it will be a good relationship.  The house seems to be falling apart a little less or at least there seem to be fewer discoveries spaced further apart.  Today Brad even wanted to walk around the whole house and hear what I had in mind for all of the rooms.  It really actually got me pretty excited about it again, which I have not been able to be for a very long time.

So I'm back.... in several aspects.  As always, music is part of my life and in looking for a song for today I ended up back with one of my favorites - The Weepies.   The song I chose is "World Spins Madly On".  It seemed appropriate.  If you take the time to listen to the lyrics, there were days where this is exactly how I felt - like I was falling apart but the world just was spinning along.  The good news is that dark days are often followed by sunshine if you can just hang on.  Thanks for hanging with me.  Here's to many more adventures for both of us!

... and then there was one ......

Tomorrow morning Brad and I board a plane for Lexington, Kentucky (via an Atlanta connection) and I find myself having a very hard time going to bed because of the finality of this flight.   We are headed there for my son Jeff's final football game of his college career, so it's an extremely bittersweet trip.   Often I have opined about how great it would be to have a free Autumn weekend to do as I please or how I wasn't thrilled about yet one more flight, but when push comes to shove, I realize what a big moment this is in my life ..... and his.

For the past 9 years - starting with his Freshman year in High School - at least one day of my Fall weekends has been planned around a football game.   It started out as JV games on Friday nights (or maybe even Thursday afternoons if memory serves me correctly).  He never played until 9th grade, so this was a new experience.  I can actually remember his Junior year when he became a starter, and how I was amazed that he could catch the ball when he played Tight End and hit so hard when he was playing Defensive End.   Where did this kid come from?!  His Dad and I were sure he was destined for the stage when he was younger, but I don't think either of us dreamt that he would chose the stage of a football field.  And then by his Senior year when he started getting interest from some of those schools interested in "not quite big enough for Division 1 but you're a good student" players, it never occurred to me that this would go beyond four years.

Butler chose him and he chose Butler and I have to say that it's been a wonderful fit.   I do literally remember driving away from the Freshman dorms his first year there and feeling like the worst mother on the planet for leaving her son on a sweltering August day in an un-airconditioned dorm as he was ready to start 2-a-days........   But we both survived.   And I think in perhaps many ways, he thrived.   Jeff found his niche and ran with it.   And I could not be prouder.    He graduates in December as a 5th year Senior, choosing to stay and play the one more season of eligibility he had.   He already has a job offer - a blessing in these times.  They are lucky to have him.  He will be staying in Indianapolis... with Michelle, his girlfriend of three years, whom we love as well, and all of the friends he has made over the years.  There are so many proud moments that I am not sure I can recount them all, but I know one was last year when he received the award for "The Butler Way" at the end of the year banquet.   In the scheme of life, those are the ones that matter.

So one more Friday I will board an early morning flight, with my #52 jersey packed in my luggage.   I will wake on Saturday morning and slip it on and wonder if perhaps the people on the other side of the stadium will see it glow when I wear it with pride as my son takes the field.   I will cheer.   I will smile.   More than likely I will cry.  But mostly I will be filled with such love and pride.  I am so proud of the young man he has become.  I told him that once in a text message a few months back........ he replied that he had much more "becoming to do".   I am not sure what I have done so right in my life that I have been blessed with the two sons that I have, but I treasure them and how they have enriched my life.

Here's to health..... may you get through this last game unscathed.
Here's to hope.... for a Butler victory and your bright future.
Here's to joy ... what you have given me the last 22 years.
Here's to love... words cannot express how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mother.

Thanks for the memories Jeff.   It's been amazing!

So the song I have chosen today is a classic.......   "It's a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.   It truly is a wonderful world........

That's the way that the world goes round ........

Well now, it's almost downright embarrassing to admit that it's been almost a MONTH since I last wrote!   Not sure what exactly happened there, but honestly, I take it as a good sign since it must mean that the house wasn't always one my mind 24/7. 

Just to make life more interesting, I took a misstep off a sidewalk in Raleigh, NC - where I was headed last time I wrote.  We were going to dinner and it was dark and there was a cut out I didn't see.  Pop goes the ankle!   Long story short, had it x-rayed the following Monday and it wasn't broken but have to admit this is one of the worst sprained ankles I may have ever had.  It's been four weeks and honestly, it still hurts, is still a tiny bit swollen and I haven't been able to run for 4 weeks.  When I put on the wrong shoe, it reminds just exactly where it still is tender on that outside edge.  Enough already!   I hobbled around for a good week, took 9 days to be able to have the swelling go down enough to fit it in a shoe, but now it's pretty much business as usual.

Since that weekend in Raleigh, the Bulldogs have had two games back in Indy and an actual bye last weekend so we got to stay home!   It was great!   We leave tomorrow for Jeff's last home game of his career at the Butler Bowl........ Senior Day, where the seniors get recognized and Brad and I get to walk out through the tunnel and onto the field with him.  It truly will be bittersweet.  It's been an amazing ride and I am so proud of him.   And to make it even more special, my other son, Matt is going to join us as well so we will ALL get to be there!   Should be a great weekend.   The two remaining games after that are in Jacksonville, FL (it will be tough, but I will go!) and Morehead, Kentucky for the grand finale and Jeff's last college football game ever.  I am thinking it might be a good idea to put a pack of Kleenex in that camera bag about now!

As for the house, we're definitely getting there.   I feel like life has actually calmed down enough that I am actually able to start doing the little things that really make you feel settled and like it's your own.  Still working on things like hanging pictures but I make more progress each day.   It has been beautiful fall weather so I have tried to do some things outdoors as well, before winter comes for keeps.   (It did get to 32 degrees last night so it's not too far away!).  I have finally been able to make head way on clearing things out of the greenhouse that just got thrown in there to be stored when we moved in - figured I have to make room for things I have to put inside soon like patio furniture!

My electricians have been here three times and we are mostly done, though still waiting on a down rod for a ceiling fan they are going to install.   I haven't gotten the bill yet, but I keep telling myself it will be worth it in the end.   We figured out a few of those mystery switches, gave up on a few more but they tested them and reassured me that they were dead and not using any power.  I had them disconnect a few things I want to get rid of and they added some things like can lights in the office and another box for an extra fixture in a couple of hallways (I hooked the new lights up myself today!).   All in all no horrible surprises or startling discoveries, which is fine by me.  There are a few things I am going to submit to the Home Warranty company (they left them unfixed) and see if they will cover. 

Then today we decided it was time to shut down the pond pump for the winter.  Just for kicks, I went to the Westar meter and timed a complete revolution,  Then I went and shut down the pump and went back and time the revolution of the wheel again.  OH .... MY..... GOSH!!!!!  I think I may have found a source of major energy usage and I am thinking a new pond pump might be in order in the spring!   I kid you not, the single revolution of that wheel was three times faster when it was running.   I  think over the course of a 24 hour period that is MAJOR energy usage!!!   Now granted we are having to fire up the furnace in the house occasionally in the mornings now, but I almost can't wait for the next electric bill!!

So there is hope!  And we are getting ready for winter.   I must admit that I have been pleasantly surprised so far and the house actually seems to be fairly well insulated.   I have typically only had to run the heaters for a few hours on really cool mornings (Brad thinks I am nuts but 55 degrees inside my house is just a bit nippy when I wake  up - though I LOVE sleeping when it's cold).   I still have a bunch of sealing up to do - caulking around windows where it's come out over the years, patch a few holes.    I got the chimneys swept to make sure we wouldn't die if we had a fire.  We've also decided that we're pretty sure we are going to convert them to gas logs since it's just so much cleaner and easier and we would use it more.  Luckily they are already plumbed with gas starters, so I hope to go tomorrow and order the logs sets since I have spent this week shopping around.  

Next week I have a guy coming to do some repairs on my very old doors and windows that are having some issues, but I think after that, that I don't  have too many more contractors scheduled that I can think of!  Hooray - maybe I can get even ,more of my things done!  Which is good since we are hosting Thanksgiving at our house for all of Brad's family.  Both boys and their girlfriends are coming and we will have somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-25 people here for the meal!  I don't have to do all of the cooking but needless to say, there are things I really need to get in order before that day!  Nothing like a looming deadline to light a fire under you, huh?!

In the course of a month so much happens, but I don't want to bore you!   I got to spend a few days with my Mom during bye week from football, so that was nice.  She's doing well.  I also decided to take a class at an art gallery in Old Town so for the last four Wednesdays I have spent a few hours each afternoon learning how to make glass tile!   It's a class on fusing glass and I have had a ball.  So much so that I just signed up for four more weeks!  I'll try to take some pictures and post them soon. 

So on that note, I will sign off and hope that I haven't put you to sleep without tales of hidden crawlspaces and strange discoveries.   It was probably a lot more fun to read my blog when I had my finger in the dike each day, huh?!    

It's hard to believe that a year ago I was on my big road trip - seems like a lifetime ago.   Actually, one year ago today I was in Pittsburg at my Mom's and went out to dinner with several old high school friends!   From that day to this has been an incredibly journey with lots of ups and downs, but I just continue to hold on for for the ride   Decided to post a song tonight that just sort of sums up life sometimes.   It's called "That's The Way That The World Goes Round" by John Prine.   Hope you all have a great weekend and I'll try to write again before another month goes by!

..... Goin' to Carolina .....

Well, the world keeps spinning and I keep blogging.  The furious pace of autumn when you have a son who plays college football is upon us but as tired as I am, I couldn't be happier.  The Bulldogs are off to a 3-2 start and had a great win last weekend - an upset over the Dayton Flyers capped off with an interception and a field goal to win the game!  Doesn't get much better than that!   Jeff had another great game, so forgive me if my pride is showing heartily this week.   This weekend Brad and I are off to North Carolina in search of watching win number four!  Go Dawgs!

I know a few of you have asked what's up with the electrical situation at the house and sorry it's taken me so long to let you know.   There is hope!!!   I know last I wrote, I spoke of being apprehensive about the electrician, but after meeting him I feel much better.   He is simply a rather laid back guy and perhaps that works well with me in this situation since it's the one I tend to get the most uptight about.  Perhaps he is the yin to my yang on this situation.    Once he got to the house and we talked a bit, he basically told me he wanted to start with my meter and my breaker boxes.  Checked out the meter and it all looked fine to him (that's kind of what I figured too).  Then we moved inside and he took the covers of the two breaker panels that I have.  To me it looked pretty much like chaos with wires everywhere, but he said it didn't look too bad to him.  He was really good at explaining to me what he was doing as he went along (sometimes I wonder if they can all tell that I want to know or if they just think of me as the crazy hovering homeowner!).   He basically checked all of the connections ..... where all of the "hot wires" came into each circuit breaker and also where each neutral wire connected.   Seems like all of the hot wires were in pretty good shape, BUT tons of the neutral wires were very loose!!   He tightened everything up and told me that that alone might help me quite a bit.  

In easy-to-understand terms, the way I understand it is that when the connection is loose, it creates heat, which uses more energy.  Over time, that becomes a huge fire hazard as with the heat also comes the risk of an electrical arc which can cause the wire to short or burn out.   If you were to look in your own circuit breaker panel and see a lot of white wires that have become dark, that is not a good thing. If anyone out there reading this has a better way of explaining this to me, please do so - or correct me if I am wrong!  Overall, my wires looked okay at this point, but I am hoping that perhaps the tightening up he did will be one more step in helping to make this house at least a bit more energy efficient.  And safer.  Peace of mind is definitely worth it!  

He and I walked through the house discussing all of the issues I had written down ( imagine a full sheet of lined notebook paper!) ..... switches that didn't seem to turn anything on, a couple of lights I can't seem to be able to turn on, fireplace blowers that don't blow, and of course, my crazy, crazy back yard.   Complete with way too many junction boxes in really weird places, GFCI outlets that don't work, yard lights that hang down in shame and who knows what else.   We both agreed this would be a very good place to start looking for issues as we are both sure there are many!

What I liked about Tom - the electrician - is that he made suggestions and gave me options.  Never a "you've got to do this" but rather "we could do this or that".  He's a busy guy and I am an impatient woman, but I think we'll get this worked out.  The plan for now is that I will make a priority list and next week he will come and start on a few things.  Then from there, we will keep attacking the list until maybe, just maybe, we feel like we have resolution.

But I must admit to feeling better.  I feel like there is hope and that it's maybe not as bad as I had feared.   (Then again, he hasn't actually been in my attic yet!)

So since I was feeling pretty good about all of that, I decided to have a window and glass guy come to the house.  I have several windows that are foggy and obviously the seal between the panes of glass has been broken.  A few windows in need of repair - non-functioning hardware and in other cases, a few BB holes! - and a few sliding glass doors that require Herculean effort to slide open and closed.  Didn't necessarily like what he had to say as he felt like a lot of them might need to be replaced but on the plus side, he is going to see if he can get someone from Pella to come out and look at them since they have had a history of having problems with some of these and he had another customer who got hers fixed for free!  I like free, so once again, I will test my patience and sit politely and wait to hear back from him.

Let's see...... what else ..... I finally got the fence stained yesterday.  Decided to go ahead and buy an airless sprayer as the plan is to paint my own house exterior next spring (can you say masochist?!?!) and it definitely helped speed up the process and was a great way to practice my technique!   And that nasty old neglected pole next to the driveway that had one held a basketball hoop?  Well, it's now officially a shiny metal flag pole that is currently waving a Butler Bulldog flag!  When life gives you lemon, make lemonade!

Of course the antics with the dogs just keep on coming.  George has decided that it's pretty fun to actually go out into the middle of the pool - on top of the mesh pool cover!!   I have these horrible visions of him falling through, but so far it's good to know that it's held his weight.    We started up with a new vet this week and apparently George has been packing on a few!   He's gained some weight!   Time to cut the food back a bit.   A friend brought her son over tonight to play with the dogs and get his dog fix.  It was great from my perspective since he threw the ball for an hour.  The only downside was later when we came in:  Madison decided she was really thirsty so drank and drank and drank from the water bowl (visual image: Madison now always lays down to drink, with the bowl between her outstretched front paws).  It was all good until about a half hour later when most of that water and a few other tidbits came up while she was laying at my feet as I watched TV.   Good times!

So that's my life this week.   All in all pretty good in the scheme of things.   Whenever I get overwhelmed  thinking of everything there is to do here at the house, I try to step back and realize that I have really only been here 4 months and realistically, things are better already.  I have always been my own worst enemy and my own worst critic, so I will try to keep the doubter quiet.   Baby steps ......

The song I picked for today is "Going to Carolina" by James Taylor.   Always a good song and it seemed fitting seeing as Friday morning, I will indeed be going to Carolina!   Have a great week!

.....These Days ......

I guess if I were to sum up the last week and a half, I would have to say it's been relatively calm!  Relative is always the key word in my life these days, but I will settle for days where the house or the world doesn't feel like it's falling in around me!

Today Brad and I officially got our Kansas drivers licenses.   And man was it painful!  Not so much the fact that I had to tell them my actual weight, but the wait to get up to the counter just to share that awful secret took almost three and a half hours!   I never thought anyone could make the California DMV look efficient!   I love you Kansas, but man oh man, you need to make some changes to your licensing process!   Very inept and horrible use of employee time and manpower.  But it's done!   So I now officially have KU alumni tags on my truck (sporting a Jayhawk as I drive down the road!) and a Kansas drivers license.  Guess there is no denying I am back now!

I'm starting to do all of those things you do when you move: found a dentist that I actually really like, found a hairdresser that I love the way she cuts my hair and so today I decided it was time to call and make a doctors appointment with a woman that came highly recommended.   She must be good - I can't get in until December!!   Geez!   Guess I had better try to stay healthy until then!  So what does that leave ..... a mechanic (will get my truck serviced next week)....guess I could really use a massage, so will look around for that!   Oh, and my cleaning lady starts tomorrow!   Woo hoo!!!   Is it possible that perhaps my house might actually smell like something other than DOG for a few days at least!

On the home front, I had my second visit from Westar Energy and I must say that as much as I hate feeling like I am funding every dependent of an employee to get a college education, I have been very happy with the folks they have sent out.  Dan the Man came out last week and basically replaced the meter that was on there with a new one and said they had to take it in for testing because they couldn't really do that in the field.  I am supposed to be informed of what they find.... nothing yet.... but judging from the speed with which my little dial still spins, I am guessing that any issues are on my end and not theirs.  Either way, it will be good to know.

Tomorrow afternoon I have an electrician coming.  Talked to him on the phone and he says he can trouble shoot the house.  I am having guarded optimism though, since the first time he was supposed to call me back he didn't so I called him  and then he called me back yesterday to say he had all of the information except the time we had agreed to meet!    I have another option in my back pocket in case I am not impressed with this guy!  It's time to get this electrical party started!   (sorry for the horrible humor but I couldn't resist!)

For now, I have put the pots and pans back over what appears the opening to the Underground Railroad in my kitchen.   Figured there is not much I can do at the moment and it might be good to wait and see what happens in the winter - figure out whether it's just a source for an Arctic blast or if it is part of the HVAC air return system.   Sprayed about half a gallon of degreaser, added some shelf paper and I am at least buying myself some time.

The pool is closed for the season!    Never thought I would be so happy to say that! We came home from Milwaukee and the pool company had actually gotten to it early!     AND it turns out our realtor swears that the pool is supposed to be covered on the Home Warranty, so she is looking into it, since - come on, we all know it - there will be problems when we start it up next spring/summer!

Butler football is in full swing.  The Bulldogs are off to a 2-2 start, but mostly this season, I approach every game with my own prayer of "please don't let Jeff get hurt!".  He has been so lucky to this point that I just want him to get through this season unscathed.  He had a great game on Saturday with 6 tackles - one for a 5 yard loss - and a fumble recovery!  Such fun to see him out there!!  

This last weekend Brad and I turned the game into a road trip adventure and drove.  We stayed Friday night in Evansville, Indiana and went to an Allison Krauss concert.   She has been my favorite artist for a very long time and this concert did nothing to change that standing.  She is amazing and so her band!  Then woke up Saturday morning and drove to Indy for the game, left Indy about 4 p.m. and spent the night in the St. Louis area before getting home to Wichita about 2 p.m.   Not bad, but not something we want to do every weekend!  It's always nice to have Brad captive in the car and to myself from time to time!


So due to the crazy Fall schedule, there is less going on at the house and things are more along the lines of "getting by".  I am always determined to organize and clean - and yet I find myself outside finishing the demo of the old hot tub, moving wood chips from my huge pile into some flower beds, cleaning the pond and pulling weeds.   I am beginning to think the only way I am going to ever get to the "inside the house" list is when the weather turns.  Oh well.  Not like anything is going anywhere!

But I will leave you with two great stories......   One I have been meaning to share for some time but there has been too much else to write about, so I forget or figure you have all stopped reading by now.  For those of you that have hung on, you're going to like this!  

The joy of moving and having to change your cell phone number is that, like the house, it seems to have it's own history.  Mine is not that exciting - seems like most of the inadvertent calls and texts I get relate to some catering company that specializes in fried chicken and catfish!  But Brad's number has been a source of great amusement for us!   He started getting computer generated calls within the first few weeks we had our new numbers - all of them from some high school!   We knew something was up when he was told to report for football practice!   As he himself said, any high school football team that needs him is in for a very long season!   He got several calls about football and while we kept saying that he needed to call and try to get the number taken off the list, we wondered if he kept it going if maybe we would find out that he was elected Homecoming King or something!!!   He got calls for Band practice, for Booster club meetings, for registration.....  apparently he is a very vital part of this high school!   If only we knew where it was!  But alas, I think he did finally call them and ask them to take his number off of their automatic dial, so that's over.   Sigh ...........

And story number two does relate to the house.  While I haven't found any more bowling balls or trap doors or anything like that, I did learn a little history about the owners who had the house before the folks we bought it from.   A neighbor I just met informed me that he was a dentist .... who apparently grew pot in the greenhouse!!!   He was out of town at some point and had someone that was staying here.  Apparently they were not privy to the information of the crop in the greenhouse and came home one evening to find a door was ajar so they called the police!    Ooops!  Surprise!!  As this neighbor so politely put it ......." he had to move"!  One of my friends made the comment when I found the little space below the kitchen that maybe that is where they hid the drugs.   I think she may be on to something!

So once again, I do so wish that these walls could talk!   What a book they could write!   It also explains to me perhaps why the house has taken so long to feel settled.   It's had a pretty tumultuous past!   I am nursing it back to health but it's quite obvious that I am going to have to be patient.   Maybe another blessing is in order!  


The song I am posting today is an Allison Krauss song from her new album Paper Airplanes, called "These Days".  It just is one that really resonates with me  - she sings about a road less traveled and about not being able to be something you're not, or knowing where you belong, which is what I have felt a lot this summer.   It's getting easier and better, but I'm not going to lie ----- it obviously hasn't been easy.  But at least these days I feel like  I am waking up with hope for a good day ahead!  That's enough for me for now.

.... on the road again

Just like old times - I am blogging from the road!   I am in Milwaukee, Wisconsin right now, tagging along while Brad works and I get to play!   He is a visiting professor at the Medical College of Wisconsin and was chosen to give the Al McGuire Memorial Lecture at the Children's Hospital.   Mr Big Pants!  It was well deserved and I know he is knocking them dead!    Mostly my job on this trip seems to be sleeping in, playing during the daytime and getting to go to dinner with everyone each night!   THIS I could get used to!

Meanwhile, back at the house .........

It's nice to have the weather cool off and the windows open.   The electric meter is still spinning wildly but we are working on it.  Westar came out on Tuesday - even though they were hesitant and told me that they had no record of a second meter on my house and it probably wasn't theirs!   Guess what?  It was!!   Sure threw them for a loop!   A very nice young lady was the one who came to the house and we did some sleuthing (okay, mostly it was sleuthing I had already done, but I will let her share some credit since she did make a lot of phone calls to the bosses while she was there).  Turns out that 30-40 years ago sometimes people had a meter installed just to follow consumption of one particular thing.  In this case, it is my irrigation well!   It only turns when the sprinklers are running.  At first she told me she was going to have to put a new meter on it and register it so all I could think of was "Well S!@%#!   Now my bill will be even HIGHER!"   So she did but before she left she got a call back and apparently it already shows on the bill so they told her to put the old one back on.   She was not qualified to work on my "big ass" meter as it was larger than she is certified for, so we had to set up an appointment for a different service person to come for that.  I wanted to be there, so that is scheduled for Monday.   According to her, they should be able to check everything from the meter all the way back to the transformer, so MAYBE we can either find the trouble or rule some things out!   Progress!  

And oddly enough, we did get the 3rd electric bill and I never thought in my life I would be happy to see that amount on on a bill, but it was actually a fair amount lower than the last one and it was hot all of August!    I guess my energy Nazi ways made a difference!   Now I just need to get to the point where I feel like I can turn on any light I want in my own house!

The pool is getting closed for the season next week supposedly.  Hooray!   It has had so many issues right now that it will be a welcome relief.  Right now it's just an energy sucking, poorly functioning leaf catcher!   We will deal with it in the spring .............

My nephew sent me the bill for the dumpster that sat in my driveway and carted off all of the old planter box and dirt and rock....... once again we are recording setting and filled it with a weight that I didn't think was possible!   One more very large check to write!   If I had known it was going to cost that much, I might have figured out a place to use it in the yard somehow!   Live and learn!

And in between the chaos that is the house, I try to have a life.  Went to my first Medical Alliance meeting, which is basically the wives of area docs from Wichita.  HATE these things but the Dean's wife invited me as her guest, so what do you do?  It was a fashion show to boot!   Oh yeah, you heard me right!   Yours truly went to a fashion show!!    I survived and made nice and met some nice ladies, but definitely not my cup of tea!

I gave up and decided that if I waited until the house was settled to hire a cleaning lady that it would never happen so have a gal that is doing to start coming every two weeks.   I think this will be a good thing but I just hope she is prepared for the mountains of dog hair!!

So now, it's time to shower and get ready to hang out with my oldest sister, who lives about a half hour from Milwaukee, Wren.  She is driving up and we are going to spend the day hanging out.  Should be fun.     No song for today as I can't really think of the best one to do so you are on your own for music this morning!

I know it gets redundant, but it always amazes me when I see how long I go between posts on here.  For a woman who is a self professed chatter box, it amazes me that I am not writing more often.  But then again, when the end of the day comes and I am tired, all I want to do is head to bed.

So let's see .... what's new since I last wrote.....   It's September!  And the weather seems to have finally broken from the ungodly heat.   We actually set a record in Wichita this summer - 53 days over 100 degrees, which is the most since the Dust Bowl in 1936!  Not exactly how I wanted to be welcomed to my new locale, but what do you do?  Mostly this summer, I seem to have sweated, cried and worried.  It's been kind of a crazy three months here and it's just now that I am beginning to realize just how hard they were.  I was overwhelmed - plain and simple.   No other words for it and no other way around it.  And I'm pretty sure from a clinical perspective, I was depressed.   Nothing new to me, but sort of had to "tough it out" since the health care coverage didn't kick in until this month and it's one of those things that - like so many times before in my life - I just felt like I had to muddle through.  I missed my mountains and my fresh air and my routine.  Felt like I had traded it in for a money pit on the surface of the sun.  Suck it up and keep moving......   But now that the temperature has dropped, the A/C can be turned off and the windows can be opened, it's amazing what it has done for me!   I am totally fresh air and sunlight dependent!

The house is ..... the house!   There have been no major miracles in the last week and a half, no interventions by HGTV to totally rebuild my house (dear God in heaven - if there is anyone out there reading this with HGTV connections, PLEASE give them my name and number!!!!), but it's okay.  For whatever reason, this is a good week!  It feels like there is hope.   And for today, that is enough.

Got the second electric bill - worse than the first!   There are some serious issues going on here.  To that end, I have called the energy company - Westar Energy - and asked them to come to the house and explain a few things to me about my meter.  I have requested that they do it when I am here and little do they know that my plan is to ask them to check every connection from the transformer to the house! That will be Monday.    If they do that and it all checks out, I have decided to hire an electrical company and have them troubleshoot the house.  It may cost me a lot, but quite honestly, it will be worth it to figure this out and it should pay for itself in short order.  So I guess that at least I feel like there is a plan!  And I have come to realize that I am glad that I am a bit of a pit bull when it comes to my house and my well being!  If I don't stand up and fight for myself, who will?!

Brad seems to be adjusting into his new job, which has helped me adapt to my new environment as well.  You hate to admit that you are so totally dependent on someone else for your well being, but quite honestly, he is my rock and when he seems to struggle, I struggle.   It's getting better day by day.

As for the house...... I got my new cook top put in!   It wasn't necessarily what I wanted, but the home warranty covered most of the cost and for now, it's good enough.  Not sure I will ever adjust to electric versus gas, but for now, it will do.  Hence the song of the day:  I have come to realize that as much as I complain and a bitch and moan,  I am provided for.  I may not always get what I want - but I get what I need!

The pool is limping along until we can get it closed up for the season - sometime in the last week of September.  It needs a new filter and maybe a new pump.  I pray it just keeps working until then!     The pond is doing well but same thing - needs a new pump.  The lawn is mostly green but now I have to figure out how the heck you shut down a well for the winter in the coming months.  Now that it's nice weather and time to open the windows, I had to order a couple of screen doors and a few screens.  No small task when they are Pella doors and windows.  Or I guess I should say no small financial task.   Pella knew what they were doing making their doors so specialized that you can only get their product.  You don't EVEN want to know what I had to pay to have two sliding patio screen doors made!  All I can say is that they had better slide like butter and last for a million years!  But the fresh air invigorates me, so I pay.........

And then there is football!   Jeff's senior season started last weekend!   Brad and I have continued our commitment to get to every game we can.  The last four seasons (re-shirt freshman through junior year), we were lucky enough to mostly have direct flights, but here, everything is a connection.   But we go.  And we go with a true appreciation of how lucky our son is to have this experience.  He is blessed - as are we.   I will try to truly enjoy each and every minute he is on the field in his last season  - all the while holding my breath with my real hope being that he just gets through each game unscathed.    It was a wonderful distraction from all of the chaos of my life last weekend, and I will try to look at each weekend as my own little getaway!

As for now ......I've actually given myself permission to take a day off here and there!  I haven't really done that for the first three months and it's time.  There is so much to do, but I have learned that I have to do that as well.  Whatever is waiting for me to get done will be there tomorrow.   I am trying to be the tortoise rather than the hare!  And while there are so many times I feel like what I have done is not enough - there are other times when I realize we have done a lot.  

I am going to add some pictures for you ... finally!   I have a few more "afters" that I need to take, but you can see at least some of the things that I have been talking about.

But I can't leave you without telling you about today's wacky discovery.   In order for the new cook top to be put in, I cleared out all of the cabinets below it.  This morning I figured it was time to put it all back, so as I opened up the cabinet doors, I looked inside and realized that there was something odd about the floor of the cabinet below the cook top.  It seemed like there was a piece that had been "cut out" and then put back in.  Recognizing it as a door to a space below, I pried it up.  Imagine my surprise when I saw - about two feet below - dirt!  It appears that at least half of the kitchen has this odd crawl space under it.  Totally uninsulated, dirt floor, empty space!   My guess is that it's going to be awfully cold in that area come winter unless I do something!!  I have no idea what the rationale for this is!!!!   I am not sure I will ever completely understand this house!!!

So it's off to bed for me.   Catching a flight to Indianapolis tomorrow for another game - go Bulldogs!!!   Today is also my oldest son, Matt's, birthday. 26 years ago I became a mom.   It truly is the best thing that ever happened to me and in the midst of all of the chaos that is my life right now, those are the things that I try to remember.

So it's like the song says ........ you can't always get what you want..........but if you try sometimes .... you might find ..... you get what you need.....